It's such a good thing that you're here.
You are here for a reason and there's a reason you opened this article. There's a reason that you're going to read this message. Maybe it's for you, or maybe it's for someone you know.
If nothing else, you might just be reminded that you need a haircut. Haircuts are important, after all.
I finally did it two weeks ago. I sat down and surrendered. I stopped holding on to it.
"Just cut it off," I said.
"Are you sure?" She asked. "It's a lot."
She held it out and showed me how much.
"Yeah. Just do it." I winced.
It had taken me so long to grow my hair out to that length — it took my hair three years to get "long". But now it needed to go. My hair was dying because I stopped getting regular trims to keep it healthy. Dead ends had developed and they were slowly working their way up, killing and thinning out more of my hair.
My hair is so much better now without those dead ends. With the dead ends gone, my hair got it's bounce back. Yesterday I noticed how beautiful I felt with fuller, bouncier hair so I took a couple of selfies.
You see, I thought I needed those dead ends because they gave me the length that I wanted. Finally my hair was as long as I wanted it to be. Everything seemed great. But something wasn't right. My hair seemed to be getting thinner and thinner — or was it just my imagination? I kept needing to add more and more product to my hair to give it more volume.
It wasn’t just my imagination. Something was wrong. Those dead ends were slowly working their way up into the rest of my head, slowly killing more of my hair. What I didn’t realize is that this thing that I was holding on to was slowly killing me.
The dead ends of your life have got to go so you can grow.
A couple of months ago, I was wallowing in self-pity and resentfulness. A dear friend of mine listened to me vent and then she was quiet. She walked away and then she came back.
"Meg, you might hate me for saying this but I'm just going to say it."
And then she told me what she could see from her perspective. She didn't deny or diminish the hurt that I had experienced, but she told me the truth about how my wallowing wasn't helping me. She told me I had a choice not to wallow. She was really telling me that I needed to cut off the dead ends of my stinkin' thinkin' so I could move forward and be healthy.
That was a turning point for me. I needed my friend's blunt yet loving honesty. It was time to snip the dead ends of my wallowing. It was time to make better boundaries with myself and others. It was time to forgive.
Health and life come to you when you remove the dead ends of your life — like negative thinking. Your clarity, your joy, and even your physical body respond positively when you stop entertaining things that drain you.
You might not even realize what's killing you right now. The crazy thing is that negative thinking can look “useful”. It can seem helpful. You might justify your right to stay angry. Now, it's not wrong to feel angry — it's really healthy to feel the emotion of anger! But holding on to that anger for an extended period of time is what begins to eat away at your soul.
Sometimes your sight can deceive you. You might be believing one thing but the opposite is taking place. Something that may seem beautiful may actually be killing you.
This calls for a reality check. Ask yourself the tough questions. Get the insight of a counselor. Be honest — with yourself and others. Set better boundaries. Forgive. Renew your mind.
Let go of those dead ends and live.
