I have a dog.
And I have to confess something: having a dog sucks.
This dog really annoys me and I wonder whyyyyy I ever thought it was a good idea to have a dog. My daughter, Emma, has wanted a dog for years. I grew up having pet dogs. I wanted a dog, too. So when my brother surprised us with this dog last Christmas, we both fell in love in an instant.
But now… now this dog is my responsibility. Every day. Yes, every single day this dog has to be walked and fed. When we travel, I have to find a puppy sitter. You guys, this idea of having a pet is waaaay different once it's real — day in and day out. The idea to have a dog isn't as romantic as I thought it would be.
Can you relate? Does this sound like anything else in your life that hasn’t turned out quite the way you expected?
Despite the way I feel about this dog, I need this dog. Yep.
My win this morning came through having this dog. I may not always like the dog, but this dog gets me out of the house every day for a walk. My therapist told me I need to take a walk every day. So it's good that I have a dog that requires me to take it on a walk.
This morning we walked to a beautiful park and walked all around its trails that wound around trees and a pretty stone fountain and old weathered park benches... but it took me a moment to fully appreciate the beauty of that moment… I had to let go before I could enjoy it.
You see, I had a different idea about this morning. My idea was to get up early and get a lot of work done. But that didn't happen. Instead, I found myself walking around a park and at first, I wanted to rush through the park because I was thinking about the work that was waiting for me in my office. I needed to let go of my idea so that I could enjoy this incredibly beautiful, peaceful moment.
Maybe there's an idea that you need to let go of today, so you can enjoy what's actually happening instead.
Do you have an idea about who you are?
Go refill your coffee cup and come back, because I'm about to go deeper with this whole letting go of an idea thing. I'm going to dare say something else that I've been asking myself lately... maybe I need to let go of a certain idea of who I am?
Maybe you need to let go of an idea about who you are. Maybe.
Let me explain.
You probably have an idea of yourself. It's this idea of WHO you are. It’s an idea that has been shaped by your life experiences, the things you've been good or bad at, the things people have said about you…
Each of us has a certain idea about ourselves.
This idea can become our identity, because it has a form. It’s easy to look at it and think it embodies all of who we are. This idea or concept of who we are isn’t a bad thing to have. In fact, it’s even linked to our purpose! It helps us. It can motivate us to take action. It is part of our strong will to do and say things.
This idea of who we are is affirmed when people give us compliments or gifts or do nice things for us or when they want to spend time with us. And these are beautiful, good experiences. These things help us to be even better people, all the way to our cores.
On the flip side, when someone misunderstands us or when we get humiliated or when we get betrayed by someone we trusted completely, this idea that we have of ourselves get’s damaged. Suddenly there are holes in this idea of who we think we are and it sucks. If we have been depending on this idea of ourselves as the TRUTH of who we are, we can get very defensive and angry and destructive or negative and depressed. We can feel lost and start questioning EVERYTHING.
When an idea starts to fall apart, it SUCKS.
You start to ask yourself, who am I? Why this? Why me?
This idea of who you are has its own purpose. It serves you well, giving you ideas about how to improve things, warning you when something doesn’t feel right, or inspiring you with fresh ideas. This idea of who you are can help you make sense of things that you’re going through, but sometimes it just can’t figure things out and that’s okay.
This idea of who you are is just that — it's an idea of who you are. It simply is not ALL that you are. It wasn’t meant to drive all of your behavior or make decisions for you.
This idea of who you are shouldn't have the keys to your car — it shouldn't be trying to tell you where to go next. It makes a great passenger. It can give you good ideas and it can hand you a sandwich when you get hungry, but it's not the one that gets to write all of the rules.
This idea of who you are has a purpose but it is not your core purpose. This idea of who you are is not WHO you are. Who you are, that is something entirely different. Who you really are at your core is like a rock that solidly exists, no matter what goes on around it, no matter what anyone thinks of it, no matter if the sun is shining on it to make it sparkle or the rain is beating down on it, no matter if it even knows it’s a rock or not. The core of you is eternally loved, no matter what.
Is this making sense? Does this resonate with you?
What happens, when the idea of who you are, changes?
So this idea of who you are… it will change. It will change many times. Sometimes it will be great, and sometimes it will suck. And that’s okay. You’re going to be okay.
Today, it might be time to let go of an idea that you have about yourself or an expectation that you have for a certain situation. Let it go, because it’s holding you back. This idea, this expectation, it’s simply not EVERYTHING.
Oh. Oh. Oh.
I know it hurts to let something go that you’ve been holding on to for so long, your hands white-knuckling as you grasp to hang on, because you can’t imagine yourself without it…. but, you’re actually going to be okay. You’re going to be okay if this idea isn’t actually right or if things don’t turn out the way you want them to.
Today, it might be time to laugh at yourself and take yourself less seriously. Embrace the idea of yourself that you have and thank it for the work it does, then ask God to reveal more of who you really are in Christ… as your original creation that was birthed from His love. You can truly rest in this love and let go. This love is working all things for your good, my friend.
I know it because I'm walking through this, too. Confession: I wrote this a couple of hours ago with tears running down my face because of how HARD it has been for me to let go this year.
I was sure that I wouldn’t make it if I let go. I was sure that I would lose my chance at a happy-ever-after if I let go. I was sure that I would lose my house if my career path changed. I was sure that I would look like a fool (and yep, I have looked like a fool - guess what, that actually helped me to let go some more!), but most of all, I was afraid I had irrevocably messed up my future… I felt so lost for most of this summer.
I had been operating on the idea of who I was and the story I had created, so when it came to an ending that I didn’t see coming, I thought everything was over. But my story isn’t over.
Your story isn’t over.
Your story goes a whole lot deeper than these ideas about who you are, my friend. Just trust that as a fact.
You are loved.
Yes. You are loved. That’s who you are. That's the truth. It might sound cliche and fluffy, but it's really not fluffy. It's a solid rock that you can go build a house on. It's the rock that you can use to bust down the lies that you believe about yourself, lies that tell you that you always mess things up or that you don't have what it takes or that you can't change. There is always hope and a future for you, no matter what you have been through.
So maybe your idea sucks. Yeah. It’s okay. Let it go.
Some ideas must fail so that new stories can be written.
You can let go and begin again. You can let go and trust the process of growth.
You were made for this, my friend.
Everything’s going to be okay. More than okay.
Just give it some time.
Beathe.
Smile.
Let it go.
P.S. I love my dog. I can’t help it. Maybe you should get a dog, too. It might be good for you. ;)
